absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I got her a Nickelback box set.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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