I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
