i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Randomize
