how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
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