I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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