Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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