I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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