im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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