I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
