Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
