Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
