I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
