Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
