Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
