no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Randomize
