Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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