The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
