in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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