i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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