just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
