I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
