Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Moan for me like Helen Keller
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
