So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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