what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
