this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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