Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
