I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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