oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
