Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
