carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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