Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
