I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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