Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
