Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
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