My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
