He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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