the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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