Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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