I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
