do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
she looked like the before picture.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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