Im at strip club and am horny
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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