he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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