i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
