She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I still have a little drunk in my system
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
