I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
