So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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