I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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