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I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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