So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
