My hand turned me down
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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