I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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