Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
